So it looks like this week is Jon Hamm Week. Monday’s post was dedicated to him and now this musing is also stemming from that time when his face forever altered my life. (Sidenote: The general everythingness of Jon Hamm aside, if you can get tickets to The Tonight Show with Jimmy Fallon, Do. It. The online ticketing process is a test of strength & character and you will spend more time standing in lines to get in than you will sitting in the audience, but it’s totes worth it.)
Anyway, after the taping was over, as we were walking to the subway and recapping the experience, the topic of Jon Hamm’s extreme handsomeness came up (obviously) and I said to my friend (and the universe), “Why can’t I have something like that?” and my friend looked dead into my soul and said:
“Because you’re asking questions like that.”
**Pause for effect**
“Stop saying what you can’t have and just say what you want.”
That was some real talk that I was not expecting. And it forced me to start re-configuring everything right there on West 50th Street between 6th and 7th Ave. Because who said I can’t have something like Jon Hamm?
No one. Except me.
I just automatically counted myself out. And why? Well obviously because someone like him would be out of my league. Right? Well again, says who? I still haven’t gotten an official membership letter from any league, so how do I even know which one I’m in?
I realized that I’ve been basing it on who’s been trying to recruit me – the homeless, the shiftless, the toothless, all the less’s basically. And with that loop of “like attracts like” playing in the back of my mind, it is constant torment. Because according to what I’m attracting, I am a boxcar hobo. And I am 100 years old.
But here’s the thing – why do I only look at it from the direction I don’t want? Why not flip it and look at it from the other side? Why don’t I look at what I’m actually attracted to and liken myself more to that? Instead of looking at what is attracted to me and letting it pull me down – why don’t I start looking at what I’m attracted to and let it lift me?
You know that saying about “aiming for the stars and getting the earth thrown in as well”? Well everyone can see the stars, right? Well maybe all the “lesses” keep aiming for us, because why not? What do they have to lose? We are stars.
So I have to stop letting the office mailman and the 17-old-year thug on my block affect my self-esteem. And stop apologizing for what I am attracted to. It’s not too good for me. I don’t know why it doesn’t love me back yet, but maybe it will once I stop approaching it like it shouldn’t.